So early in the
season, so many questions! I've had more fun watching hockey these past few
weeks than I've had in a long time (1990 springs to mind). Yes folks, the
NHL season is back! Having said that, I have several questions that I want
you all to ponder.
1) How long will
it be before one of the coaches gets thrown in the penalty box for
2) Can you say Carlo Colaiacovo three times fast? (Furthermore can
you tell me what his nationality is?)
3) Did Theoren Fleury honestly expect anybody to believe his
explanation about why he missed two days of practice with Chicago?
4) Where has Bill Muckalt been for the past year?
5) Has the Corel Centre in Ottawa secretly changed their name to the
Molson Centre without telling me? (You had to be there at the preseason game
vs Montreal to understand what I mean.)
6) Will Atlanta and Nashville win more than ten games combined this
7) Has Mario Lemieux ever played any of the Super Mario Brothers
8) Why does Glen Wesley of the Carolina Hurricanes find it necessary
to break a stick every time the Hurricanes lose?
9) Has Chris Pronger replaced his gloves yet?
10) What happened to Pat Burns' moustache?
11) How many nightmares will Mats Sundin have about that missed
overtime opportunity against Jeff Hackett in Montreal?
12) Has Eric Lindros been nominated for the moron of the week award
13) What exactly are they putting in the drinking water in Boston and
how can I get some of it?
14) Does anybody miss Steve Yzerman in Detroit?
15) Who gave the Colorado Avalanche and Anaheim Mighty Ducks
permission to swap jerseys?
16) How much beer does it take before a fan has enough guts to try
running from one end of the ice to the other without any clothes on?
17) Anybody else wondered how or why they could broadcast the Queen
dropping the ceremonial faceoff in Vancouver and not broadcast the actual
18) Are the Sabres' days in Buffalo numbered?
19) Why don't the Los Angeles Kings go back to the white, black and
silver jerseys they used to wear back in the Wayne Gretzky era and keep
their current third jersey?
20) Whose idea was it to change the Pittsburgh Penguins logo back to
the old skating penguin logo?
21) Will the NHL implement an automatic icing rule before or after
somebody gets killed?
22) Quick! Who scored the first goal in NHL history? Sorry, you're
too slow, next!
23) Will Ron Tugnutt become the first goaltender to play for all
thirty NHL teams?
24) Has Vancouver's Fedor Fedorov (Sergei's brother) ever met Bryan
Berard? (both have suffered career threatening eye injuries and both are
back playing hockey - remind me to stay away from their doctor(s).)
25) Will recent events in Washington make it mandatory to stop
referring to prolific goal scorers as snipers?
26) How did the Ottawa Senators get an eight day break in the
schedule and still end up with a better record than the Toronto Maple Leafs,
who have played twice as many games?!
27) Has anybody even noticed the nice new nets that are up at both
ends of every rink now? Seriously now, have you?
28) Is it really necessary to have a board advertisement for Viagra
in Montreal's Bell Centre? (I'm not kidding about this!)
29) How did Tampa Bay end up in first place in the Eastern
30) If I'm at the top of the CN Tower in Toronto, I wonder how hard
I'd have to throw a puck to make it land either on top of the Air Canada
Center or inside Skydome? Would anybody get hurt?
31) Will we still be watching this wonderful game in 2004?
32) Are you having fun yet?